Why Not To Forgive

There are many reasons why we should never forgive those who have hurt us in the past.  They might have bullied us, beat us down, injured our heart and damaged our soul.  Let’s face it, they were cruel and we are pissed off about it.

Yet, is it really worth carrying around so much venom.  Is that resentment really worth carrying around day in and day out?  After a while it gets exhausting for us, while the perpetrator might not even remember your name or recognize the damage they have caused in your life.  They might be living their best life ever and we are left behind holding on to anger.

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. — Buddha

So what can we do with these emotions that are weighing down our lives, emotional well-being, and robbing us of our joy.  The first step is to recognize the emotion of anger, resentment, hurt or whatever emotion comes up for you.  You can use something like the power wheel below from the Human Systems website https://humansystems.co/emotionwheels/.  This tool can empower us by recognizing that a concrete energy is within us and we are able to give it a name.

Additionally, we can give our named emotion a color and texture to help us make it more concrete and real for us.  We want to make the emotion real because very often our emotions have been dismissed as non-sense.  Our emotions can be like small children getting louder and louder until we give it the attention it needs.   We want to recognize our emotions and perhaps even talk to our emotion out-loud or in our minds as a way to recognize it and soothe it.

After we have heard and recognized our emotion we can release it from our body.  We can imagine a cleaning clear energy coming in from the top of our head and then washing through your body from the top of your head to your feet.  Allow the cleansing energy to do any extra “cleaning” in any area of your body that feels a little knotted or tight.  Focus on the tight areas in your body until little by little you start feeling the release.

Do this cleansing visualization as often as need.  You can do it once a day or several times a day until you come to a place of peace and forgiveness.  You can always ask your higher power, however you define it, to help you in this process.  Ask your higher power to help release all negative aspects of this energy that no longer serves you.  Thank your higher power for all of the help you have received.

After you have released any emotions that no longer serve you, you can replace those emotions with empathy, understanding and self-love.  Try to think about why they might have done what they did?  Try to see it from their point of view as difficult as this might sound.  Then, at some point say either out loud or in your mind, “I forgive you”.  Allow yourself to feel lighter, freer, and as much compassion as possible for the situation and all people involved.

You will probably feel better after trying this once, but you might need to do several times until you feel completely released of all negative feelings.  You deserve your freedom and peace.  Practice forgiveness as much as you can with everyone you need to forgive including yourself.  Allow yourself to be as free and light as you can be.